blueashell

I just spent all this money at TJ Maxx. I'm pretty upset about it. But this morning my last pair of tights broke open somewhere and I had to like adjust the shit of them so the hole wouldn't show. I figured if it got too big I could always just take them off. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm going to be dead broke the next second. But that's actually what's happening. And I know no one will help me out. Mostly because my mom and my grandma didn't get bday presents from me so I guess I'm a shithead or something.

I know it's only six more weeks. But every day I start my car I sort of say this whispered prayer before I put the key in the ignition so that it'll turn on. Because if my car goes I have no idea what I'm going to do. Maybe someone will give me a ride, but I wouldn't bank on anyone's good graces. Maybe I could drive my brother's truck since he isn't allowed to. There's a ridiculous image that may be forced into reality. I bought a new coat because I'd had that blue one for I don't know --three years now. The bottom button is missing and it's pretty matted and nappy. I also got a skirt. Although the shoes I have now kill my feet to the point that I feel like I've literally bruised my arches at the end of the day--there wasn't money for new shoes. Maybe Payless? Maybe I can find a pair for under 12 bucks.

I'm thinking about applying for a job at this Subway that's hiring in town. Has it come to that? I mean, yeah just about.