"Joan, I have been over there. I want to stay, but I can't as long as you keep praying.
Please don't pray for me any more."
I.
Now that it's January, the white flag of my breath hisses around my ears.
I walk the dog down to the field every night
where he never goes far from me.
And I do stupid things like look up at the sky and believe that I love you.
II.
Remember the time we sat at my kitchen table and waited for the coffee to be done
but this was all a misdirection.
Because you were only waiting to leave.
III.
My brother is asleep on the sofa and the blanket falls off his arm enough that I can see his ugly green tattoo
and I know that I would die for him.
I wanted to tell you this
because you were right
but in the wrong light
anyone can look like a darkness.
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