f-word f-word, pardon my french, but it's b.s.

I walked out of Dorothy Allison's reading with Whitney and Amanda (who I think is really awesome, and am now excited to go to Philly with) and just felt devastated. In our small English major group that Ted had now joined I just asked "was no one else, at any point, on the verge of tears?". Okay the answer was a resounding "no Susan". It's not that what she was saying was so depressing, or anything like that. It's just, she was saying so perfectly everything I've ever thought, or known, or worried about. About reading, teaching, wanting to die. Wanting to read books because the world is too mean. Not thinking that you could make it another day. Teaching as the most important thing to give kids the tools to find meaning in the world. She said it, twice, we write because "how it was last time, doesn't to be how it'll be this time". I'm almost tearing up here writing that. I don't know, it wasn't sad. It really wasn't, it was just so truthful I didn't know how else to react.

In a lighter note, the girl that I always see in Starbucks was there by herself. She was reading Plato, and Whitney started talking to her. She said she was there for S.A.L.E. and I started awkwarding telling her about Dorothy Allison's supposed involvement in the "Lesbian Sex Mafia". She said I "peaked her interest". Well, I think I just seemed like a weirdo. But anyway, it was really cool meeting her.

Still have proofing to do for my internship, but all I really want to do is work on my lesson plan with Nicole, which isn't til four. Boo.

Am looking forward to Whitney & Susan's grrrl's night out Saturday to drink away our pain.