Sunday, April 3, 2011

Raised to wait

"Billy Liar" was on TCM tonight. First of all--TCM why no commercial breaks? When am I supposed to pee or make tea? From now on, only watching TCM if someone else is there, so if one of us needs to leave the room, we have someone to catch us up. I didn't know much about the movie before watching it, other than it is one of Morrissey's favorite movies, which was good enough for me to try it out. .

Anyway, the movie was excellent. To sum it up without giving anything away (in case I entice you) it's about a twenty-something growing up in working-class England in the 60's. He lives with his family and works as a clerk at a funeral parlor. He's completely disenchanted with his life though really charismatic and charming, but as the title promises; a liar. He'll lie for no reason, like about whether or not he has a sister--it seems for the mere thrill of it. He also has a recurring daydream where he is the leader of a country that he made up. Most of his daydreams consist of him giving rousing speeches to his people, or leading his troops home from war--being greeted in an extravagant parade. People from real life are also characters in this world, and sometimes when they're talking to him (ie his Dad) he'll picture them as these larger-than-life versions of themselves. Also, one of my favorite parts is when people piss him off he imagines shooting them. So anyway, he keeps thinking that he's going to move to London and be a screenwriter, and makes minimal efforts to achieve this goal. He keeps telling everyone that that's what he's going to do, etc. However, when he's finally given the chance to just get on a train and leave with what seems to be his onetruelove he doesn't take it. And ditches her to predictably return to his parents house. The final scene is just him "marching" home with his imagined army and we see a shot of the outside of his parent's house, and his room light being flicked on. So, this was horribly depressing. I've decided to watch "The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" which features the same actor in the same sort of role.

Also today I went to a yardsale--but it was inside of the house because the owner had just died and everything had to be sold. I guess the house had belonged to an old lady and her children were selling everything. The thing was, they really were selling everything-not just furniture and cups--but like half used Windex bottles and boxes of bandaids from years and years ago. In her room you could look through all of her clothes, all labeled with prices and everything. Even above her bed you could see a picture that ornately spelled out "Mom" had been given a price-tag. They even were selling her bras. I know that debts can be left behind, but what money could possibly be earned from selling this old lady's bras? I saw her little white church gloves for sale. And tea sets and unused fancy napkins. Anyway, I remember when my Mommom died, and my Mom just auctioned everything. No one asked me if I wanted anything of hers, but I would have liked something. After she died Mom kept some of her clothes in those plastic zipper bags you put stuff in to keep moths out. And she would smell it because it still smelled like Mommom. I only saw her do it once, but it made me uncomfortable. The only things that I have to remember Mommom by are the presents she gave me, like this one candle I never burned and this book about John Lennon that I asked for for my birthday the year before she died. I can't imagine selling my parent's stuff, and I can't even think about how hard that must be. But they went through and put a price tag on every bra that old lady had. And I think that it was heartless.I bought some of the scarves that they had for sale, and today when I got out of my car and the wind blew it I could smell her perfume. I don't know, I can't sleep tonight and my brain won't shuddddddddup.

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