I dropped a step ladder on my foot at work today. I didn't want to look at it when it happened, because I sort of thought that my toenail could come off. Luckily when I got home, it was just a bunch of blood all dried around the toe/really red and swollen.
Jen had to leave early because of the big snow storm that's supposed to come (which I really hope it does so I don't have to go/stay at work tomorrow). Anyway I was rushing through work so I could get home to say bye. The manager said I could go right after I finished filling the soups. So I'm doing that, and I pick up this bag of tomato soup and it had a hole in it and it just went everywhere. All over the wall/floor/other soups. I knew I was going to cry, because for the past couple days all someone has to do is look at me wrong and I want to die. So I'm trying to sop it up with towels, and wringing tomato soup out in the trash can. I'm not talking, because that's like a trigger. Meanwhile the guy on dishes was like "oh man, I feel so bad for you". Not helping self pity levels. And the guy that I was working with came back and helped me and was asking me if I burned myself. I wish I had so I had a reason to be so upset. Or I wish I had the critical thinking skills to lie and say I was burned. He was helping and saying "don't worry about it, don't even worry about it, it happens to everyone, you can just go, I'll do this". And that made me sadder and sadder.
Anyway, I'm home now lying in bed, trying to screw my head back on. I took a shower with my favorite thing ever, Burts Bees Peppermint soap, and now all I want is some delicious coffee or delicious tea, and a game plan. I have all this free time tonight, and I don't know if I want to write or read or watch movies. I guess all of them. Jen had to leave, but I'm not too emo about it. I think I need a couple days to stiffen my upper lip. I can't keep falling apart all over everywhere. Plus, we're going to hang out over break.
It feels good to do nothing. I just can't get my guts to unwind and realize they can calm down.
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1 comment:
But Buddy, Just think of all the Snupin santas that you can read now :) Plus we need to make up our bowling date. <3
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