Caligula would have blushed

I've been sleeping an embarrassing amount. Still observing schools, which is, let's face it--a waste of time at this point, and also awkward and weird because it's my highschool. When I haven't been sleeping in my bed or on the sofa on in 11th grade English classes, I've been taking the silly puppy for walks. My dad just locks him in the kennel all the time and it's probably the saddest thing I can think of to not let him out.

I keep getting distracted by things that wouldn't normally interest me, like TV. And I've been saying to myself, "no, Susan" go to your room and reflect on how you feel about everything. Everything being school ending, moving out of Bard, being away from my friends. It's hard to think when you're just mindlessly entertaining your brain. Gotta be reflective, gotta huurr hurrr hurrrt. Honestly, I haven't done too much of that though. I am upset that all my stuff it moved out of Bard. I don't have my own place anymore. No escape. I'm completely dependent on other people. Which doesn't feel good. And it doesn't feel real. I keep thinking that all my shitty silverware is still in the drawers at 23 waiting for me to dunk into my coffee. But there's nothing but beds and floors now.

Just one more year of this. Being poor. Being dependent. Shitty jobs. Shitty car, shitty phone, shitty car, shitty...bag and clothes and shitty shitty car. The whole game changes soon.