God I'm a moron sometimes. I think I know so much about everyone. It's easy to be lost in my world of black and whites where I construct what everyone is. Aha. People do love one another. And it's not all that bad. I don't feel bad for myself. One day I'll find you. Some days I think I'm really pretty and thin. Other days. Eh what's the old saying, a woman's body is her enemy in the fight for love. Something like that. I've been reading so much lately. I've been in the circus taking care of the elephants with Jacob. I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life reading. Then I'll always be someone interesting. I don't want to feel empty. But when you have nothing interesting to say.
I haven't bought anyone a present. God I hate Christmas. I wish a had a million dollars. I'd buy you all such beautiful things.
You know where I want to be?
I want to be in the car from the Smith's "There is a light and it never goes out". I want to be with someone where if we died together in that instant it would be okay.
--to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine.
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