'Cause you knew that I would, if it'd do any good, satisfying your needs

I'm finding it really hard to care about anything that isn't class related. I feel like I used to be so obsessed with making friends/thinking about relationships. But I really don't care anymore. It's refreshing to talk to Beth and realize that there's so many more people I'm going to meet after I graduate. I mean, why worry about what's here and now when there's so much more out there---that I won't need to work nearly as hard for. In hindsight, Shippensburg was a shit choice of a school to go to for me. I don't think I could have found a worse fit. What have I developed? Nothing. What new experiences have I had? None. I thought college would be this crazy time. But it's just been sort of lame. I think I was more badass when I was 18 than I am at 21. I need to develop some sort of drug addiction and fall in with a bad crowd. I kid, but at least I wouldn't find myself mumbling Bright Eyes lyrics under my breath, while fighting the dizziness from way too much coffee on the weekends. I need it to be cold out again so I can wear scarves up to my eyes and watch my breath. I only burn my lavender candle when I'm sad because it's my favorite and makes me feel better. I wish all my candles were lavender. I wish all tea were earl grey. I found an Andrienne Rich book at Barnes and Noble that I need. I better get an interview at Panera so I can get it. I have to take the Praxis this weekend/go home. I won't pretend I'm not really freaking anxious about it even though I know it'll be okay. Blah blah blah. Things go on and just like I say over and over, they're always the same; not in a bad way, not in a good way, just in a way.