Can't decide which is better. Coffee and strawberries or tea and strawberries. Big decisions. Spent today calling back potential jobs and trying to find quarters to do laundry. My new candle smells like Pez and is not relaxing. Like my beloved relaxing lavender candle which is now gone. Big shoes to fill Pez candle.
I talked to Beth today and she helped put things in perspective for me (thanks beth<3). Helped me screw my head back on a bit more solidly.
It's rainy out and I'm glad. There was a really bad thunderstorm this morning. I think. I may have also dreamed it.
I've been reading the 'textbook' for my Advanced Poetry class, trying to pull some sort of inspiration out of it. I keep meaning to send out poems to be published. I keep getting rejection letters from other places I submitted. It somehow doesn't discourage me like I thought it would. It's sort of like chasing a crush who ignores you and denies you. It just makes me want to keep trying. Don't you know I love the chase rejection letters? At the same time I do feel upset about it...but the sort of upset like "why can't I be better". But I'll get better. The thing is that most journals allow you to submit 3-5 poems. I don't think I have 5 strong poems to send. Maybe 3. Maybe. But what am I going to do.
Whitney is coming over Thursday, and we're going to hash out our big plans to strip or sell drugs. Something to make moneys. Without moneys I can't buy vital things I need to live.. like... incense. Oh and Alex is visiting this weekend hopefully too. Everyone visit.
I think I'm going to spend the rest of the night writing and moping with the Magnetic Fields.
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i'm moping with the magnetic fields too. i'm glad we talked. every time we talk i can't help but to feel gushing love for you. oh and i like when you call me "lover." at least someone fucking loves me. oh, my ex's boss found me at work and said "does he know you work here? you broke his heart." fuck that.
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