In the future, when all's well

I wish I was Holly Golightly (from Breakfast at Tiffany's) I really think that I could deal with things with a lot more clarity.

"Everybody has to feel superior to somebody--but it's customary to present a little proof before you take that priviledge."--Holly

I can think of one person in particular I'd love to have said that to.

Paul Varjak: I love you.

Holly Golightly: So what.

Paul Varjak: So what? So plenty! I love you, you belong to me!

Holly Golightly: No. People don’t belong to people.

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I realized at some point yesterday that I seem a bit in need of psychiatric treatment. I have about a dozen books/magazines scattered between the sofa and the table where my laptop is. Some laying open on the floor to preserve a page, some stacked, some with smaller books pressed in them to save pages. And on top of it, I have various mugs sitting on every flat surface sitting next to candles that have melted down to nubs. Anyway. I'm having a great time really. But I think I need to get out more.

I'm going to the market today to get veggies for my vegan chili that I'm making tonight. Yum yum. Yesterday I cheated on my vegan diet and it made me feel sick, but I have to imagine that it was a mental thing because I can't believe that cheese would make me sick after only two weeks.

I'm going home tomorrow because I have that doctor's appointment Monday. Hopefully everything will be fine after that. But I'm tired of having stitches.

I guess that overall, I'd label Summer 2009 as the summer of my greatest identity crisis(es). On all fronts really. I try not to think. But then I can't help it. And when I do think I try and tell myself that it doesn't matter. But it does matter. As soon as I have some direction to go in, I'll be stronger.

LIKES:

>>>Starbucks House Blend

>>>Being obsessed with Truman Capote

>>>All the publicity Kate Gosselin is getting

>>>Not needing anyone

>>>All the poems I've been writing lately

>>>Submitting poems to "Believer" magazine--Amy Sedaris will read them?!

>>>I can write fiction.

>>>Deciding to write an academic paper on Anne Sexton

DISLIKES:

{{{Birth control commercials that promise it's "natural" to only get your period three times a year. Come on.

{{{My recent addiction of replacing the loss of dairy in my diet with excess sugar

{{{Wanting a piercing really bad but feeling too old now.

{{{I left all my knitting stuff at Bard

{{{The SPCA is always crowded. And the dog named "Rue" who loves me but I can't adopt him.

{{{People, people everywhere.